| Sick |
[Saturday, September 9th, 2006 @ 10:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick |
] |
My internets been down for the past few days. I've been dying.
I've been dying but not from the lack of internet, surprisingly.
I've been dying of the flu.
At least I think it was the flu.
On Wednesday I started school again. I was fine. I went home. I was fine. I spoke to my dad. I was fine. I did my homeowork. I was fine. I got ready for bed. I was... not so fine. I went upstairs and sat in the kitchen and cried and cried. My throat was on fire, my ears were throbbing, my head felt like it was in a vice and ever muscle in my body, muscles I didn't know existed, ached dully or there was a sharp pain running through them. I was dying... My temperate spiked to 39.
The next morning I woke up to find nothing was different. It was my second day back at school but I was in no condition to go. I spent the whole day sleeping and crying and watching Grey's Anatomy. Friday was no different (sleeping, crying, Greying). And today there has been a big improvement but now I have a hacking cough that won't PISS OFF! and it's driving my insane as well as making me want to vomit.
So,
Tomorrow is Sunday. My last day to recover. And then I am back at school again. I hope I feel better. And I'm now officially sick of Season 1 of Grey's Anatomy. Hurry up Tuesday and bring out Season 2!!
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| you're not meant to understand. |
[Monday, September 4th, 2006 @ 8:22pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
] |
DONT TRY AND UNDERSTAND THIS. It's purely for me to remember. It's something I wrote that last. I took out everything that would make it obvious what I was talking about.
Wow its been a while. Just here to report how empty I’m feeling since . I can’t stop . My that I life. I wish I could back in time and the start. I feel so empty and depressed. I’ll never . I don’t even have a . I never even . was wasn’t like the fake.
My , it was a race to again. Once more. So I made back and there window bit and my heart leaped into my chest and then I turned back as I walked away and and that was it. was gone. I barely . And yet there . My second . someone in is so much from when they are . So different. but when you see , there’s a surge and a high. I’d do ANYTHING to or and from the beginning. When I think of I feel this wave of sadness and I honestly want to cry. I have cried a little. I wish I’d . Once. ONCE. That’s all I want. I want to see I feel empty. I know this feeling all too well. I can’t wait for it to go, I can’t take it. There is no point dreaming though. was real and I’ll never again. Soon I won’t be able to I never found out. Soon gone. Another . But for now, so real. I wish I knew what . What .
Goodbye . You’re . I much. And of me now. (Please let me . take away the pain, .)
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| Thai food |
[Friday, August 18th, 2006 @ 12:39am] |
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Came home yesterday and I was supposed to go to Morea's to see her & Sophie but then my mum said I couldn't go. WTF?! So we changed it to this morning and then this morning she said I couldn't go. I was SOO mad. I went out putting posters of Zara up in Casale San Nicola. God, I'm home and I'm still bored. I need to see my friends.
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[Monday, August 7th, 2006 @ 11:27pm] |
Madalena is so boring there is nothing I can write other than I am getting more tan (which is a positive) but am slowly sinking into a state of near suicide (probably a negative...)
I can't WAIT to see my friends.
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[Sunday, August 6th, 2006 @ 6:12pm] |
I HATE MADALENA!!
big post when I get back...
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| Le strade di San Fransisco |
[Tuesday, August 1st, 2006 @ 3:58pm] |
Ordered Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Special Edition 2-Disc DVD with an hour of extras today :D
Aso went for lunch with the "Aunt" and "Uncle". Fun fun fun.
Going to Madalena tomorrow. Fuuuuck.
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| and I need your loving |
[Tuesday, August 1st, 2006 @ 11:45am] |
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music |
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Beck - Everybody's gotta learn sm |
] |
I really hate MySpace!!!!!!!!
Off to lunch.
I can't stand the heat...
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| Dal divertimentooooo |
[Monday, July 31st, 2006 @ 11:31pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Caparezza - Sono Fuori Dal Tunnel |
] |
che facciamo
io ho una tipa di seconda mano
che mi fa
da pub, da disco e da divano
sono quaaaaaaaa.
Uncle Fanny is somewhat unfannyish. Actually "Uncle" George is pretty funny and I am now starting to believe my lovely aunts (one of whom is my godmother) might be the fannies in this situation. Sort of skews all my family views (rhyme!) but hey! We all went out for dinner and it wasn't so much suicidal as it was really quite fun. Here's a conversation we had in the car that won't read funny but it was hysterical.
"Uncle" George: Wow this place is jumping! What do they do, roll up the roads at 10pm?
*Everyone in car cracks up*
My mum: It's a laugh a minute with your husband Sandrina.
"Aunt" Sandrina: Is it? Well, you can keep him.
My mum: You've heard it all his jokes before then?
"Aunt" Sandrina: Once or twice.... three or four times.... once a week for 35 years. "Roll up the roads"
We were in hysterics and I'm not sure why because it wasn't that funny.
We also have a running joke about homosexuals too. It went on for a bit until "Uncle" George said something quite crude about arses and homos and there was just a silence of hysterics.
Nice night. During which my stepdad randomly pulled me in and hugged me and kissed me...
What the fuck?
How am I supposed to bitch about my poor, doomed family when they are being funny and nice?
Off to bed, I guess.
Madalena on Wednesday.
xx
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| Monday = Grey's Anatomy |
[Monday, July 31st, 2006 @ 4:03pm] |
Howdy. Well Uncle Fanny is here. He's not so much a Fanny, though. "Uncle" George and "Aunt" Sandrina and actually pretty nice. So does that mean my lovely aunts are actually bitches? *sniff* Okay I'm over it.
Kate Winslet is my new favourite actress! (After HMC, obv because well... duh!) She's so talented and funny.
My life is boring. I go to Madalena in two days. Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy. Then MOREA AND SOPHIE!!!! Yes I'm excited!
I can't wait to back to school...
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| Can't sleep. |
[Monday, July 31st, 2006 @ 1:08am] |
I can't sleep so here I am again with Kit on my shoulder this time...
For once it's quiet. No step-dad tapping on his computer next door. No mum upstairs on the phone. And none of my abandoned FRIENDS tapes blaring from Chris's TV in the highest volume his eardrums can take. Not only that but he keeps his door open in a not-so-secret attempt to lure KitKat into his bedroom in the middle of the night because he's not-so-subtly pissed that he wanted the cat and I didn't (and I spent a good few days referring to her as The Whore before insisting her name was Kit) yet she sleeps in my bedroom everynight.And meows in anger when he picks her up and purrs like a godamn tractor whenever I do.
She isn't supposed to sleep in my room anymore but I was feeling lonely so I've snuck her in. She just might be in love with me as she keeps nuzzling my face with a look of lust in her eyes. Oh well, at this rate lesbian kittens is all I've got...
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[Monday, July 31st, 2006 @ 12:43am] |
P.s. Kudos to Holly Marie Combs & Charmed for cheering me up no matter how much my life blows at this moment.
I THINK MY GODAMN FRIENDS SHOULD COME BACK NOW :)
Goodnight... or morning. It's 12am. Morning. Wow giving me a laptop in my room was a baaaaaad idea, daddy dearest.
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| NOTHING IN MY LIFE EVER CAME WITH A GARUNTEE!!!!!!! |
[Monday, July 31st, 2006 @ 12:00am] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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You're an Ocean :) |
] |
My stepdad woke us up at the crack of dawn (well, 10am) to tell us he has a suprise planned for us. Considering that since he returned to our happy happy home he hasn't once looked me in the eye never mind spoken to me, I assumed his idea of a suprise would be to go for a lovely drive... right off the side of a cliff. However, because my life is so boring I dragged myself out of bed and got in the godforsaken car with my godforsaken family and so we began to drive. My brother plays a guessing game of "Where are we going?" And I join in with "Are we going to a dolphin show?" because I'm still bitter my dad didn't take me to AquaLand in Portugal to see the dolphins. I knew I had powers of some kind (just was hoping it would be molecular combustion or telekinisis or something actually cool) because next thing I know we are pulling up at some water park. No one was amused. Hello? I guessed a dolphin show? People, please. That's major skill right there. Whatever. They can all drown in the damn dolphin show. It was pretty fun in a sort of 'desperate-attempt-to-get-this-family-back-together-since-my-stepdad-left-and-then-came-back-in-the-space-of-five-hours' but I think he might find a better response from actually talking to me. I've stopped trying as it's actually pretty embarrassing to be childishly ignored by an grown adult. I want a pet seal, by the way. And I want to swim with dolphins. Stopping here as I am an animal freak and will talk for hours about the cute sea critters I met on our Glorious Water Park Day for the Happy Happy Family. He even took us to godamn McDonalds in the end. He hates McDonalds. If he knew me BUT AT ALL he'd know I'm on a diet and am already paranoid about my weight enough and I don't like it when I have no choice but to eat junk food or go hungry (well I don't like it until I look down and see I've scoffed an entire McChicken Sandwhich in three bites.) Eventually, we went home. My room! My haven! My computer! Thank gawd. This has been a really weird day as I even went home and watched a Charmed episode where Piper is with Dan! (Jesus - I know!) AND then MySpace music finally had Fastball's 'Your an Ocean'. Love that silly silly wretchedly addicting song :)
Fuck it! This part of summer has SUCKED! And now I have Madalena to look forward to. Yay! - more awkward family 'bonding'. It was hellishly boring last year and I had Morea then... I just might commit suicide. Note to self: Pack gun.
And the cherry on top of the cake is my "Uncle George" is stopping by tomorrow. So I can't even hide in the refuge of my own lovely bedroom with a purring cat on my shoulder as I MySpace or watch Charmed because I haven't seen "Uncle George" for three years. According to my aunts, he is a fanny. According to my mum, my aunts are bitches. Who fucking knows anymore? I'm inclined to take The Big Bitchy Aunts' side as Uncle Fanny hasn't made a single attempt to see my poor doomed family in three years. And that was at my mum's poor doomed wedding. Before that I hadn't seen him in five years.
Oh the joy! Who's excited?
Wish me luck.
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| Subject-less. |
[Saturday, July 29th, 2006 @ 7:25pm] |
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KitKat is okay :):)
I'm so relieved.
Boring day, as usual. This is the worst summer ever. Nothing to do, everyone is gone.
Watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind again. Love that movie.
Browsed some Holly Marie Combs websites and ordered some stuff from eBay.
BORED!
Kill me now.
xx
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| Kit |
[Friday, July 28th, 2006 @ 10:23pm] |
KitKat (my kitten) is really sick. She has an ear problem of some sort and her entire face has swollen up. We're taking her to the vet tomorrow.
Thing is, she sleeps in my bed every night and especially now that she is sick, she doesn't like anyone to hold her except me. She never used to sleep anywhere but on my bed but since she got sick she won't sleep anywhere except ON me. (Ex: if I'm on the computer she sleeps on my shoulder. If I'm watching TV on my bed, she sleeps on my stomach) and since she got sick I have a really sore throat. I haven't had a sore throat since I got my tonsils out last summer. Ears and throats are connected and I'm afraid she might have given me whatever she has. My mum said she can't sleep in my bed tonight, that's not gonna go down well.
Vet tomorrow at 10. Find out there.
Goodnight xx
p.s. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a good movie.
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| Unasked questions |
[Thursday, July 27th, 2006 @ 6:30pm] |
Questions for my mum... that I probably won't even ask.
Why do you feel the need to defend me? Why are you acting like you don't know me? That this is all new to you? Why do you maximize my mistakes and minimize my good qualities? Why are you acting like you are suddenly ashamed of me? When did his morals become yours? Why have you given up on me? Why don't you notice? Why don't you put two and two together? Why are you blind to the signs I send you?
When did you become an asshole? And why didn't I notice sooner?
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| Lazy day |
[Thursday, July 27th, 2006 @ 12:28am] |
Very lazy day.
My mum & brother went to the lake with that italian boy and Yaz's family.
I stayed at home with girl problems :) and basically watched Ricky Gervais ALL DAY.
I watched his stand-up, Animals, then I watched three episodes of Extras (haha Kate Winslet was amazing!) and then I listened to podcasts.
Then I browsed the net, changed my myspace a bit and began my christmas list (I was on a really good online store, I couldn't not write it down.)
Then I went up to get a cup of tea and I realised my step-dad was back.
For those who know & care about what happened last night, this obviously confused me. But I didn't want to make anything awkward or provoke him so I just avoided him all day. At one point Kit knocked a video off my shelf and he came in and was like "..oh... you're still here." and I didn't even turn around and was just like "yep."
and then he left. And that's all we've said since last night...
Anyway, gonna watch Charmed.
What a thrilling life I do lead.
Wish my friends would hurry up and COME BACK!
Kit's asleep on my pillow so I'll end up sleeping sideways or something.
Adios.
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| Pool |
[Tuesday, July 25th, 2006 @ 1:39pm] |
| [ |
music |
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ricky gervais podcast<33 |
] |
It's fucking hot.
And I am going to the Yaz's swimming pool probably.
Hmm.
No Pink Ladies here. I miss them a lot :(:(
Hot Italian Swimmer Boy likes CHARMED! Hahaha oh it made my day. He was in my room and we were talking and then he saw my holly marie combs poster and was like "ah. i know her!" and i was like "ehh he's got her confused with another celeb!" and he was like "from streghe! from the witches! what is it in english?"
Duuuude. Pretty good stuff.
Yupp.
Adios
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| RENT |
[Saturday, April 29th, 2006 @ 11:45pm] |
My favourite parts of 'Take Me Baby Or Leave Me' & 'La Vie Boheme' & 'The Tango Maureen' & 'Light My Candle'
I have lil' random favourite parts in each song. I'll underline my favourite line/s. Here they are: (if you have the soundtrack, go listen to them. if you dont, get it!)
'Take Me Baby Or Leave Me'
JOANNE
Take me for what I am
MAUREEN
A control freak
JOANNE
Who I was meant to be
MAUREEN
A snob - yet over-attentive
It's the way she says it. SO funny.
'La Vie Boheme'
MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, To curry Vindaloo
To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou
MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion,
Creation, Vacation
MARK
Mucho masturbation
I just love that entire section. It's amazing. It always cheers me up.
'The Tango Maureen'
JOANNE
This is weird
MARK
It's weird
JOANNE
Very weird
MARK
Fuckin' weird
He says it funny. Ugh.
'Light My Candle'
ROGER
Oh, the wax - it's
MIMI
Dripping! I like it - between my
ROGER
Fingers, I figured ...
Oh, well. Goodnight ...
It blew out again?
ROGER
Oh no.
I mean you do - have a nice -
I mean - you look familiar
MIMI
Like your dead girlfriend?
ROGER
Yes! They used to tie you up -
MIMI
It's a living
ROGER
I didn't recognize you,
Without the handcuffs
ROGER
Cold hands
MIMI
Yours too.
Big. Like my father's
Do you wanna dance?
ROGER
With you?
MIMI
No - with my father
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[Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 11:10pm] |
I WANT TO GO BACK TO ROME TO SEE THESE PEOPLE: 
coz i miss them. and love them more than you.
and scotland sucks this vacation.
it really does.
i got the office christmas special today though.
so yeah im considerably cheered up.
maybe seeing amy on saturday.
so thats good too.
but...
i wanna go back to rome.
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